The question of the “perfect” length of sex is more complicated than most people think. While some may prefer longer encounters, others are satisfied with shorter experiences. A recent look at women’s preferences offers insight into what many truly desire — and the results may surprise you.
No universal rule
There is no medically defined duration for sex. Individual preference, energy, emotional connection, and context all play a role in determining what feels satisfying. While research can provide averages, the ideal time is ultimately personal.
For example, studies measuring intra-ejaculatory latency time — the span from penetration to ejaculation — suggest that sexual intercourse typically lasts about five minutes.
Men, on the other hand, often perceive their encounters as longer, averaging roughly nine minutes. Meanwhile, some surveys suggest that an “ideal” sexual experience might be closer to 16 minutes, though actual experiences rarely match expectations.
Women’s perspective
To understand female preferences, GQ writer Sophia Benoit interviewed women about how long they wanted sex to last. The responses highlighted the importance of foreplay and overall sexual connection.
Most women said they preferred sexual activity to last five to ten minutes, with longer sessions of foreplay enhancing the experience. Benoit emphasized that many studies only focus on penetration, leaving out the full spectrum of intimacy that women often value.
“Most women want sex to last longer than it actually does,” Benoit observed. “When asked, their ideal duration was either in line with, or above, the average of about 5.4 minutes.”
Expert insights
Sexual health professionals agree that satisfaction isn’t determined solely by time. On Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO, psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia, sexual health expert Dr. Rena Malik, and adult filmmaker Erika Lust discussed the topic of sexual duration.
Dr. Kanojia noted, “The typical length of sexual intercourse is between three and seven minutes, and about half of the women I’ve spoken with prefer it to last no more than 15 minutes.”
Dr. Malik added that men and women reach climax at different speeds. Men generally ejaculate within five to six minutes, while women often require up to 14 minutes to reach orgasm.
Key takeaway
There is no “perfect” length for sex. What matters most is mutual satisfaction, emotional connection, and comfort with your partner. Foreplay, intimacy, and communication often contribute more to sexual fulfillment than the clock ever could.
Ultimately, sexual wellness is about enjoying the experience, understanding your partner’s needs, and focusing on pleasure over timing.