My Husband Picks the Bathroom Lock When I Spend “Too Much Time” in the Shower

When trust breaks down in a relationship, even everyday routines can become sources of tension. One reader shared how her husband’s overwhelming jealousy has turned something as simple as taking a shower into a recurring conflict. His baseless suspicions have led to intrusive and controlling behavior that violates her privacy in troubling ways. Here is her story:

“My husband limits my bathroom time to 10-15 minutes, insisting that ‘normal’ people don’t need longer. If I take more time, he accuses me of using it to secretly text or call other men. His paranoia has grown to the point where he listens at the door, and if he hears anything he finds ‘suspicious,’ he bangs on the door demanding answers.

One evening, after a long, stressful day at work, I decided to take a longer shower—about 30 minutes—to relax. Almost immediately, my husband started shouting, ‘What’s taking so long?’ Even after explaining that I was nearly finished, he refused to believe me. To my shock, he tried to remove the door from its hinges, even attempting to pick the lock.

He finally barged in, phone in hand, recording me. Thankfully, I was already dressed, but he said he was trying to catch me cheating and intended to use the video as proof. I’m at my breaking point. How can I make him see that this behavior isn’t normal?”

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