“I was two different people before and after her death. She was this constant presence in my life, and losing her was overwhelming. I just wanted to be a normal kid, especially after she was gone.”
Despite her burgeoning fame, Wilson felt deeply unhappy during this period, exhausted by the pressures of stardom. Her last significant film role came in 2000 with Thomas and the Magic Railroad at the age of 11. Even then, she felt detached from the industry, admitting, “I reacted viscerally to the writing. I was only 11, but I thought, ‘Ugh, I hate this.’”
Wilson’s exit from Hollywood wasn’t entirely voluntary. As she entered puberty, the opportunities dwindled, with casting directors no longer perceiving her as the “cute” child star she had been. Reflecting on her teenage years, she described herself as “just another weird, nerdy, loud girl with bad hair and teeth, whose bra strap was always showing.”
By 13, Wilson realized that people no longer referred to her as cute, “Not in a flattering way, at least.” The transition from child star to adolescent, combined with the challenges of growing up in the spotlight, took a toll on her self-esteem. “I had this Hollywood notion that if you’re not attractive or cute, you’re worthless. I linked that to my career’s downfall. Even though I was burned out on acting, rejection still hurt.”
Backstage at @OkaytoSayTX supporting #mentalhealth awareness and destigmatization! pic.twitter.com/IqfFkuRiPj
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 8, 2018
Despite her struggles in Hollywood, Wilson found a new direction as a writer. In 2016, she published her first book, Where Am I Now? True Stories of Girlhood and Accidental Fame, chronicling her journey from childhood stardom to a life of content but happy obscurity. In it, she discusses everything from learning about sex on the set of Melrose Place to realizing she was no longer “cute” enough for Hollywood.
Having a rad time at #90sCon! pic.twitter.com/WMEEPpIBRr
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 11, 2022
She also authored another memoir, Good Girls Don’t, in which she explores the pressures of living up to expectations as a young performer. “Being cute made me miserable,” Wilson noted in her Guardian column. “I always expected to give up acting, not the other way around.”
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