Over a year ago, I made a life-altering decision. I stepped away from a thriving career in marketing to care full-time for our three-year-old daughter, Lily, who is autistic and requires constant support. My husband Jake and I both agreed this was the best choice for her well-being, and while it wasn’t an easy transition, I embraced my new role at home with purpose and love.
I found new outlets for my creativity in baking and gardening, and our backyard gradually turned into a little sanctuary. I managed most of the household tasks while Jake remained an engaged partner whenever he was home. We had always valued equality in our relationship—at least, that’s what I believed.
That belief was shaken one afternoon while tidying Jake’s home office. His computer screen was still on, and a social media feed caught my eye. There, under a trending hashtag celebrating traditional homemaking, I saw something unexpected: photos of me—gardening, baking, reading to our daughter. All were posted by Jake, framing our life as if I had chosen a 1950s-style domestic path out of personal delight rather than necessity.
I was stunned. These posts, though our faces were hidden, presented a version of our life that felt disingenuous. The captions gave the impression that I had fully embraced a “traditional wife” lifestyle. But the truth was far more nuanced: my decision to stay home was driven by love, not nostalgia, and certainly not by an interest in performing a specific gender role.
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