When “Be the Bigger Person” Finally Backfired: A Cousin’s Costly Lesson in Boundaries
For as long as I can remember, I was told to “be the bigger person.” In my family, that phrase wasn’t about maturity—it was code for “give Madison what she wants so she won’t throw a fit.” Madison is my cousin, but growing up just five blocks apart, we were raised more like siblings.
The problem was, sharing never worked both ways. My sweaters came back stained, my makeup shattered, my headphones broken. Whenever I complained, my aunt would dismiss me: “She’s younger, Carmen. Just let her have it.” Keeping the peace meant giving in.
Building Independence
By my mid-twenties, I was determined to stand on my own. After years of working weekdays as a receptionist and weekends in catering, I finally leased my first car. It wasn’t new, but it was mine—paid for without anyone’s help.
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