Every night, the destruction continued. The sleigh was overturned, the reindeer lights yanked apart, and Santa was left deflated in the dirt. The final straw came when I reviewed my security footage: the kids running riot through my yard, their laughter ringing out like a challenge.
I marched over to Linda’s house the next morning, laptop in hand, ready to show her the evidence. Her response? A dismissive laugh. “Go ahead and complain to the HOA. They’ll think you’re crazy for fussing over Christmas decorations.”
That was it. If she wasn’t going to parent her kids, I’d have to handle it myself.
Enter: Glitter.
Armed with industrial-strength spray adhesive and tubs of glitter, I transformed my decorations into booby-trapped festive revenge. I carefully coated the sleigh, reindeer, and Santa with glitter that matched their original colors. To the untrained eye, everything looked the same—but anyone who touched it would end up covered in glitter from head to toe.
That night, I waited. Like clockwork, the kids returned, giggling as they dashed through my yard. Ethan climbed into the sleigh, grabbing the reins. Mia ran her hands along the glitter-coated reindeer, while Jacob tried to pry off a fake gift.
Then came the screams.
“Eww! It’s sticky!” Ethan yelled, jumping out of the sleigh and inspecting his glitter-covered hands.
“I’m sparkling!” Mia cried, waving her glittery fingers in the air.
“It won’t come off!” Jacob wailed, rubbing glitter all over his clothes.
I watched from my window, sipping cocoa and savoring the moment. Minutes later, Linda stormed out of her house, her kids in tow, glitter covering every inch of them.
“What did you do?!” she shrieked, pointing at her sparkling children.
I stepped onto my porch, feigning innocence. “Oh, just a little holiday magic to protect my property. If your kids hadn’t touched it, they wouldn’t be glitter bombs right now.”
Linda’s face turned crimson. “Do you know how hard it is to get glitter out of clothes? Out of my house?”
I shrugged. “Sounds like a personal problem.”
From that night on, the kids avoided my yard like it was cursed. Other neighbors, who’d also dealt with their antics, started thanking me. Apparently, my glitter trap had become the talk of the block.
Next year, I’m already planning to go bigger with my decorations—brighter lights, grander displays, and, of course, even more glitter. Linda might hate it, but for me, Christmas has never been so satisfying.