“You know how your recliner always leaned to the left for twenty years?”
Bert nodded, guilt lingering for blaming the dog.
“Well…that was me. And remember the remote that always switched to Hallmark? I stuck a penny inside the battery compartment. Five years of Christmas movies, whether you wanted them or not.”
Bert gasped. “You monster!”
She sipped her tea serenely. “Slow-motion snowball fights and mistletoe are revenge enough.”
Bert laughed, then admitted his own secret. “Those Saturday ‘fishing trips’? Ten years of them? I never fished. I was at the alley winning four hidden bowling trophies.”
Edna blinked. “So…I threw a fake trophy out the window?”
They both collapsed into laughter.
Years later, Edna bought a new recliner, Bert went skydiving, and they bowled every Saturday—mostly to keep an eye on each other.
Then tragedy struck. At nearly sixty years of marriage, the couple passed in a car accident—but their spirits arrived at the Pearly Gates fit, healthy, and ready for adventure.
St. Peter welcomed them with open arms, showing a heavenly home complete with a gourmet kitchen, Jacuzzi, a huge bedroom, and even a pool table.
Bert blinked. “What’s the cost?”
“Nothing,” St. Peter said. “Everything’s free—this is heaven.”
Next came a championship golf course, ever-changing to reflect the world’s best greens. “Green fees?” Bert asked cautiously.
“Free,” laughed St. Peter.
Then a five-star buffet appeared, overflowing with prime rib, lobster, Wagyu, and desserts straight out of dreams.
Bert froze. “And the price?”
“Still free,” St. Peter smiled.
Bert’s eyes widened, fists clenching. “Wait…any low-fat, low-cholesterol options?”
St. Peter chuckled. “You won’t get sick or gain weight here. Eat anything you want!”
Bert threw his hands skyward. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” he yelled at Edna. “We could still be on Earth if it weren’t for your paleo chicken and bran muffins!”
Edna just laughed, sipped her tea, and swayed with him on the heavenly porch swing—still partners in crime, still the life of the story.
What’s on your bucket list? Share your wildest dream in the comments—who knows, maybe it’s time to check it off!