With my hands shaking, I opened the letter. With each word, the foundation of my marriage crumbled. Amelia confessed to having an affair with James. She wrote of her unbearable guilt. “I cannot look myself in the mirror, Sarah. I am wrecked with the guilt of what we’ve done.” I read on, feeling my dinner churn in my stomach. “May, your niece… She’s actually James’ daughter. She was the only good thing that came from the affair.” Amelia went on to say that Hugh, her husband, had accepted May as his own — not questioning her paternity at all. My sister’s letter laid bare the weight of her conscience, the torment of her silence.
And then it got worse. Included in the envelope was a photograph of my niece, who I had known to be Hugh’s daughter since my sister announced that she was pregnant. But knowing what I knew now — I could see James’ eyes in May. Attached was a medical report detailing a rare genetic condition — undeniably, a condition that ran in James’ family.
Amelia’s plea for forgiveness pierced through the haze of my shock. She explained that Hugh getting let-off his job had rendered her desperate in facing her daughter’s medical challenges. I sat there, on the cold bathroom floor, surrounded by the fragments of my marriage and a broken relationship with my sister. I called Amelia, and the dam of our shared silence broke.
“I’m so, so sorry, Sarah!” she sobbed through the phone, after I revealed that I knew everything. “I thought I could keep this from you forever, to protect you, but I couldn’t do it anymore. May’s getting sicker and I needed my sister.”
I didn’t want to deal with Amelia — I just needed to know that there was truth to the story. And there was. I cut the call without saying anything else. But how could I confront James while he was in a coma, with his condition still uncertain? From the way the doctor had spoken to me, something just wasn’t right.
A few days later, while James was still in the coma, I filed for divorce, unable to bear the thought of facing him.
“I just can’t do it,” I said to James’ mother when I told her everything. “I can’t sit here and wait for him to be okay, and know that the moment he opens his eyes, my entire world will change. I’d rather make the change now.”
Two weeks later, James woke up to his mother sitting by his bedside, telling him about our divorce. I moved James’ things out of our house and into his mother’s place. And I decided that instead of being a wife, I could be a good big sister. Amelia and I reconciled, and I became a part of May’s life. At the end of the day, she was just an innocent little girl tangled into the mess of humans. Humans were supposed to protect and cherish her. Despite the betrayal, my heart couldn’t turn away from her.