I opened my laptop and created my own document titled, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.”
First, I listed the costs of his “improvements.” A personal trainer? $1,200 a year. Organic groceries? $700 a month. Cooking classes? $1,000 annually.
Then, I considered my full-time job. If Jake expected me to dedicate myself to this routine, he’d need to compensate for the time I would lose. I added my salary with a note: “$75,000 annually to replace Lisa’s income as she focuses on household duties full-time.”
Finally, I added a $50,000 expense for a new “man cave,” where Jake and his friends could spend time together without disturbing my newly structured life.
By the time I finished, the list was a humorous but eye-opening way to show Jake the full impact of his expectations.
That evening, I left the paper on the kitchen counter and waited. When Jake came home, he immediately noticed it.
“What’s this?” he asked, picking it up.
“Oh, just a little list I made to help you become the best husband ever,” I replied innocently.
He chuckled, but as he read through the budget breakdown, his smile faded. “$75,000? Personal trainer? What is this, Lisa?”
I crossed my arms, leaning against the counter. “Well, Jake, perfection comes at a price. If I’m going to follow your plan, we’ll need to adjust the budget.”
He stared at the paper, then at me, as the realization began to set in. “Wait, you’re quitting your job?”
“How else can I meet your expectations?” I asked with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be the perfect wife. You just need to handle the costs.”
Jake stood frozen for a moment before the full weight of his demands hit him.
“I… I didn’t realize how unreasonable this was,” he admitted, rubbing his neck. “Lisa, I’m sorry. I got caught up in Steve’s advice, but this isn’t the way to improve our marriage.”
“Exactly,” I said. “Marriage is about respect and partnership, not following a checklist of expectations. If you ever want to ‘fix’ me again, Jake, it’ll cost you a lot more than what’s on that list.”
He nodded sheepishly. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking. I’ve learned my lesson.”
That night, we tore up both lists and laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation had become. Jake apologized sincerely, and I saw the man I had married once again.
Since then, our marriage has been stronger than ever. Jake has distanced himself from Steve’s advice, and we’ve returned to a relationship built on love, mutual respect, and understanding—no lists required.